I am marrying a doctor who is in his first year of residency. Any advice or online support resources?

He in entering his residency in July. I was just curious to know if there are any other women out there in similar situations. Any online message boards? I know it's going to be tough and I want to go into this with my eyes open and with realistic expectations.I am marrying a doctor who is in his first year of residency. Any advice or online support resources?
It's difficult, so hopefully you have your own support group of friends and family around! My husband was gone CONSTANTLY during his residency, and when he was home he was sleeping or studying. Kind of rough.





As far as online message boards, you might check ivillage.com. They have boards for anything and everything. You might benefit more from real, live people though. It's nice to get to gether with the girls every now and again when your hubby is gone. Also this may sound silly but we got a dog our first year of marriage and that was fun!





Good luck! (And also please don't listen to the people on here who don't know what they're talking about and say all doctor's marriages end in divorce!!!)I am marrying a doctor who is in his first year of residency. Any advice or online support resources?
Plan for and expect to see very little of him and when you do, he will often be very tired and seem uninterested. That is a tough way to start out a marriage and a very high percentage will fail because the spouse takes it all personal and they feel lonely. You need to make plans to be busy yourself and be very supportive. The results are so worth it, but it is a rough road until then. For heavens sake, do not seek another man for comfort or attention else where, because you will no doubt find it and mistake it for what it is not. Both of you need to sit down and discuss how you will handle everything from paying the bills to days off, meals, laundry, etc. You will be amazed at how many things will be effected by his schedule. Are you strong enough to handle it? Stay the lady he married so that when he is done, he can get to know you and you him. Good luck and God bless...
wow..just make sure he never ';needs'; anything at home. Food, clean clothes, make bill payment arrangement, or anything else. Also plan ahead for your ME time. You must not give the personal time up. Always have a back up plan cus you know he will cancel a lot.





Make sure he is relaxed at home..that it..


it worth it :)





oh you might need to plan the wedding and ask him what he thinks.. I know this sounds bad ..but this would have been the best time to have a child..to keep you busy...then once he becomes a doctor..the child is older and you have money to spend to relax your self.( you kind of understand)
OK, I have friends who are married to doctors, and my husband owns a business--which I have been told is about as close to being a doctor without actually being one, the hours are roughly the same.





You realize you're not going to see much of him for the next couple of years. You know the residents will pull LONG shifts. Sometimes they get enough time to come home, eat something, take a nap, have a quick shower, then back to the hospital. You'll need to concentrate on developing your talents, while being able to support your husband at the drop of a hat. Also, make sure you're ready for this, because it honestly doesn't end when they finish residency. Unless they go into a cushy family practice group, expect long hours, ODD hours, vacations postponed and cancelled unexpectedly. Realize a doctor is a lifestyle, not just a job. If you're not willing to live the lifestyle, then don't go there. But, my friends who are docs or married to them have great marriages, it just takes alot of work on both people's part--basically like any other marriage.





Sorry, I'm not aware of any support groups, message boards, but if you look through Yahoo groups, I'm sure you can find a spouses of residents group somewhere.





Best of luck to you.
Be prepared to be alone a lot. But Marriage is what you make of it...so it's a good idea that you wanna go into it with your eyes open.
Be supportive, have your own life, and just be the gf that he fell in love with. I don't know of any support groups per se but I'm sure as time goes on, you will meet some of his fellow doctors wives/gf's/spouses.
He will RARELY be home and when he is he will be sleeping ALOT..so you can't be a needy woman or expect him to EVER do any house chores or do ANYTHING with your children when you have them........and do not plan anything with out talking to him first..and you WILL be going to alot of places alone..................good luck...rethink this
Hint... when he does his GYN/OBY residency he is not going to be interested in bedroom activities. Not because he has been see ';it'; all day long, but because what he sees is so nasty it turns him off.
I hope you know how to entertain yourself because you will be alone A LOT.
Make sure you get a good Pre-Nup...
If he's in his first year of residency, then he isn't ';really'; a doctor, yet, is he?
I don't know if any message boards, but you'll soon meet his co-workers and their girlfriends/wives. They can be of comfort. Also just remain close to your friends. He wont be home much but when he is try to make the most of it and not complain about how he's never home. Have fun when he is there, and just be the girl he fell in love with.
Pre nup is always a good thing, you can outline what you get in the case of a divorce.





Also know that most marriages to doctors end up in divorce, same with soldiers and police officers. These are a different breed of person and their jobs are their way of life. Get into some hobbies, join a gym, volunteer at the hospital where he works so you can at least grab coffee together.





Be supportive and what ever you do don't turn into a nag or doubt the state of your marriage, when you start doing that then your marriage is as good as over. Stay open to communication and make sure that his time off work is relaxing and laid back especially during residency, he isn't going to want to go running all over hell and back when he gets very little time off. This point in his career will make or break your marriage so you better decide you're in it for the long haul. Not being rude but being realistic and giving you some honest advice.